Message from Pat

“What we call the beginning is often the end and to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

- T.S. Eliot

The Chinese character for ‘crisis’ consists of two parts: one signifies danger and the other opportunity. This is the nature of change; we respond to both aspects…danger, and opportunity. There is opportunity in danger and danger in opportunity.

The focus of this ezine is on transitions. The path through transitions is rarely smooth or predictable. We need to first recognize the need for a change and let go of our old ways. It is often an emotional struggle.

A transition can be unexpected, sudden or unsettling such as the death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness or injury, or it can be welcomed and planned.

External global forces, as well as internal economic and social pressures contribute to transitions – in both our personal and our professional worlds.

There are four phases of a transition in our lives.

The first phase is denial. Our first response is often shock – a general refusal to recognize the information. In this way we protect ourselves from being overwhelmed. Common responses to this include:

The second phase is resistance. In this phase, things often seem to get worse. It is common to spend time looking for someone or something to blame. Personal distress levels rise. You may become physically ill or feel all sorts of physical, emotional or mental symptoms. In this phase, you are mourning the past more than preparing for the future.

By acknowledging your feelings at this stage you are ready to move more quickly to the next phase.

The third phase is exploration. After a period of struggle, individuals and organizations usually emerge from their negativity, breathe a sigh of relief, and shift into a more positive, hopeful, and future-focused phase. You realize you are going to make it though OK.

What emerges here is the energy to put a search into action. You begin to discover and explore new ways. You start clarifying goals, assessing resources, exploring alternatives, and experiment with new possibilities. This is a period of high energy.

Finally, the last phase, commitment. You have broken through the problems, discovered new ways of doing things and or adapted to the new situation. The commitment phase begins when you focus on a new course of action. There has been growth and adaptation.

The cycle of transition never ends. As long as you live, you will continually experience a rhythm of change and face new challenges and crises. Knowing the different phases of transition may help make the transitions easier to go through.

“If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry it’ll change.”

- John A. Simone

Step into leading and welcome transitions…don’t wait…model leadership…the world needs us to do this.

Lead strong!

Pat

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The Truth about Fear

All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.

Whatever happens to you, given any situation, you can handle it!

Obviously, the real issue has nothing to do with the fear itself, but, rather, how we HOLD the fear. For some, the fear is totally irrelevant. For others, it creates a state of paralysis. The former hold their fear from a position of power (choice, energy and action), and the latter hold it from a position of pain (helplessness, depression, and paralysis.)

The kind of power I am talking about makes you less manipulative of those around you and certainly more loving. I am talking about power within the self. This means power over your perceptions of the world, power over how you react to situations in your life, power to do what is necessary for your own self-growth, power to create joy and satisfaction in your life, power to act and power to love.

- Excerpt from: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, PhD.

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Signals of Transitions

Change is like a rock thrown into a pond. It ripples through your life causing disruption, excitement, distress, and sometimes crisis. Your usual ways of doing things and your plans for the future can come into question. In place of clarity, change brings uncertainty and transition. This disruption is not only in your mind; it can affect you physically, and even make you ill. It can also affect your emotions, especially your feelings about yourself.

As you go through a transition, you should be alert to the possibilities of negative effects of the change on:

Think over recent major changes you have experienced. Write down any signals you have noticed. Physical signals, Mental signals, Emotional signals.

It is common for people to be more aware of the signals in one area. This is why some people may show different responses to change than you do. Your goal is to learn to notice the signals from all three areas so you can respond to them sooner. Mental and emotional signals are often harder for people to identify – we have less of a “language” for noticing these signals. But don’t ignore them, they are all important.

- Excerpt from: “Managing Personal Change: Moving Through Personal Transitions by Cynthia Scott and Dennis Jaff

Allies

I am looking for people who are playing ‘Bigger Games’ in their lives. A ‘game’ is defined as ‘what you are up to’ in your life. A ‘bigger game’ is at a higher level and has some distinct elements.

A Bigger Game:

If you know of anyone (even you!) that is playing a ‘Bigger Game’ in their lives, please contact me. I am interested in talking to them and writing about their story.

Recommended Reads with links to Amazon.com

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, PhD.

Managing Personal Change: Moving Through Personal Transitions by Cynthia Scott and Dennis Jaffe

Upcoming Workshop Offerings

"Quote For Your Day!"

“The Gods have two ways of dealing harshly with us – the first is to deny us our dreams, and the second is to grant them.”

- Oscar Wilde

I send out a “Quote for Your Day!” on a daily basis. If you like to think (and sometimes laugh), sign up for the daily quote by sending a blank e-mail to Quotes@inVisionaria.com with “Quote” in the subject line.

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer
inVisionaria

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people find their "Bigger Game."

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www.inVisionaria.com

Pat@inVisionaria.com
© 2006 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography
Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.
The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.

Testimonial:

“I have in fact been promoted – due almost completely to what I learned working with you. You bring to the coaching relationship intelligence, integrity, a sense of humor, respect for me, for who I am – very good at listening and then calling me on things.”

- Director at a Biotech Company

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